Elsewhere

This is the elsewhere; the thousands of days
Abandoned, hurting, wounded, betrayed

Pain is the climate, there’s grief on the wind
Suffering precipitates, and such rain won’t rescind

Eternal, and burdensome, sorrow and fury
No echoes or answers as I scream endless query

Parched by my rage, and paralyzed by fear
It’s been 15 minutes; it feels like 5 years.

This is the elsewhere a wretched purgatory
An apparently necessary chapter in my story…

Drowning in the dessert, sunburnt on the sea
warmed by fear and anger, and thirsty for what kills me

Why-oh why, this miserable depth, why am I here? what’s it for?
Yesterday I was full, and hopeful and free, with plenty of pitchers to pour

Today I sit emptied, alone, with no joy;
With no hope with no light or reprieve
Today,  I sit... stagnant- confused
about whether to give?   … or receive?

To invest yet again, to pour yet more out
in blind hopes that new life and seed will yet sprout

Or receive – in brokenness, righteous rebuke
and be guided back home hand in hand.
To let another help lead me out
of this wild unpredictable land

Lord – come quickly, come show me the way
Out of this elsewhere, and into your courts
where I’d be better off to spend just one day

-June 2021