The Great Convention

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore stay here, invite people to Sunday morning service and convert them to Christianity, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obtain church membership and to sign up for a variety of effective and relevant ministry programs. And surely, whether or not I am with you, will not be clear to anyone, just so long as your legacy continues, always, to the very end of the age.”

Jump

Who doesn’t like cliff jumping?

No. Seriously. Who doesn’t like it? Do you like it? Or would you never in a thousand years?

What if it was only 2 feet?

‘Well that’s not a cliff…’

Ok how about 6? That’s a full body length.

‘…ok well maybe’

How about 10? Worksafe BC says you need a fall protection after 10 feet. That’s gotta count right?

‘No. 10 is too high’

I enjoy throwing myself off of cliffs. The free-fall, the ‘IM ALIVE’ that nobody hears me proclaim while I am fully submerged and realize that the impact hasn’t killed or maimed me.

It’s fun.

How high is too high? The world record is 172 feet. Could someone survive 173? How about 174?

If you can jump 2 feet why can’t you jump 3 feet? Or 2 and a half even? What’s another 6 inches?

At some point you will say ‘No, I won’t do it.’ Which is a good thing. Your instincts are telling you; ‘death’, ‘danger’, ‘mortal risk’. Those are good instincts.

Before I …dive deeper… into my very round-about thought process let me say: I’m not a proponent of peer pressure, coaxing, taunting or bullying. You know when enough is enough and you should trust that.  I am, however, a very challenging person (in several ways), but I mean it as a verb, not an adjective.  I challenge people. So here is my challenge to you- in the form of a very incoherent jumble of words resembling something close to a metaphor:

If you go cliff jumping and work your way up from 5 to 10 to 20 feet. Your reluctance will increase as your height does. The higher you go the longer you will… hesitate. Wait. Watch. And throw rocks, while counting the seconds. Again, good instincts. Assessing the risk. Weighing your options. Cost? Benefit?

You will wrestle with the question: To jump? Or not to Jump?

If and when you decide you’re actually going to jump, however;

JUMP!

-

Of the amount of bumps, bruises scrapes, injuries and near-misses I have seen; most of them come from a last-minute hesitation and indecision: Fear.

Leaning backwards: exposing the back of your head to the rock cliff.
Jumping sideways: and turning, so as to not have to face the fall before you.
Failing to actually leap: so sort of ‘stepping’ and minimally hopping, which does not allow for much clearance of your take-off platform.
And even closing your eyes.

For the love of everything holy; DON’T CLOSE YOUR EYES!

These indecisive and fear ridden, ‘last-second’ compulsions or… alternatives to following through, are all much more dangerous than

just

Jumping.

My ever-analytical mind observes these things and must abstract them out to broader and more fundamental truths.

Which, may be why I, and so many others, like cliff jumping (though, not all have submitted the activity to such introspective reflection). It is an opportunity to face fear.

It is an opportunity to practice follow through, commitment, risk-taking.

If I turn at the last minute, I will lose my balance and land uncomfortably or painfully, potentially injuring myself. If I don’t jump high enough or far enough, I may bounce, slide or grind off the rock face, leaving me wounded, hurt and injured before I’ve even hit the water.  If I send my feet out ahead of me and lean back out of fear; I risk a traumatic injury to the back of my head or spine, potentially knocking me unconscious… or worse…

If I try to hang on to the cliff, after I have ‘decided’ to jump, I risk all of the above.

When I take people cliff jumping for the first time, anywhere, I always tell them; Lean forward, over top of your feet, jump up and jump out (Even if it is significantly overhung with no hazards below). And again; this applies at a 2 foot ‘cliff’ as well. Learn how to jump well at 2 feet, then you can try 6, then 10, then, who knows, you can go as far as you want to push yourself.

The height is not the point.

I’ve jumped heights that were challenging to me, and I understand that that number is going to be different for everyone, and higher even for many (those people are crazy though, because anyone who can jump from a higher point than me is clearly crazy…..).  The point is that when you find that challenging height, when you reach that perfect place between ‘No way’ and ‘No problem’

You have to

make

a choice.

Will you jump? Or not.

Both choices are acceptable. Indecision is not. All have consequences.

You have time. You can survey the area, the depth of the water, the presence or absence of rocks below that you may need to launch yourself past, take some deep breaths.

You have time.

Now- Wisdom would say; ok you actually can’t take all day to decide because eventually;

The sun

will

set.

But you do have some time before then to make up your mind.

So do that.

And when you walk back down to safety, be proud of your choice, and confident in your discretion. Not all risks are worth taking.

But if you do decide to jump…

If you decide to throw yourself off of that sturdy, stable, solid ground into open air.

And -hang- suspended for an eternal moment while your heart races, your stomach flutters and your mind screams every human survival instinct that has been developing since the dawn of time into your conscious thought.

If that is what you choose to do with your agency, autonomy and freedom, then seize it.

Will yourself away from that security and comfort, and with joyful terror hurl yourself into space.

Into that moment that only exists when you do exactly what it is that you have chosen to do.

Where there is no way back. Where the fear that surrounds you, is overwhelmed by the peace of mind that

you are doing this on purpose.

That you chose this, you are in it, come what may.

And the consequences are all your own: the pain, the lessons, the joy, the glory, the freedom…

And remember;

…don’t close your eyes

Prayer

Disclaimer: Since the focus of this site is poetry, blog posts will not be regular or consistent.

I wrote this in the same season as the ‘Please…’ poem, I thought sharing it might find some value for someone, especially when coupled with the poem. So here’s my personal reflection on prayer; it is not a doctrine or an assertion or an argument, it is an expression of my understanding. Take it as you will:

-

You see, if I start praying, and I start to see results,
Then when I stop I’ll believe that wounds and failures are my fault

But maybe that’s a good thing? Maybe that’s a healthy fear
Maybe I should be affected by the stories that I hear…

It feels like prayer is an indicator of spiritual maturity, or confidence even, it’s like; the habit and discipline of consistently and intentionally stepping into a place of dependence, while at the same time offering and giving as much of myself as possible. It’s as if, regularly coming to a place of humility, to admit, recognize and confess my shortcomings is evidence of growth and adulthood. Responsibility.  Ownership. Not only of my own needs, failings, gaps and insufficiencies, but as well; to voluntarily take on the weaknesses, brokenness and sin of others, of the world, and carry it to the altar.  To intercede on behalf of, to represent, to step into the most holy place, and offer, worship, and petition, to bless and be blessed. Not only for my own sanctification, but intentionally and consequentially becoming and bearing that very blessing and sacredness for the sake of others.  Stepping across the threshold from the ordinary into the extraordinary. And for a time;           Being.  There.

Laying down all that need be offered, and accepting all that can be given, accepting the burden of purpose and receiving the freedom of acceptance, at the altar, at the cross, in the Holy of Holies, at the mountain’s peak, where all can be laid down and given up so that more can be returned.  Life can be offered and resurrected, recreated. And lived.

By not praying, I neglect my responsibility to bear not only my burdens, but I fail to actively participate as a member of the body of Christ.  Denying to share the load and the burden that is carried by the individual members and the collective mission and calling of Christ’s body on earth. There is no access to the resurrection, and the life.  I carry on as though this is unnecessary, unimportant, of no value, and ultimately unbelievable.  I act is if God does not exist.

Prayer is… almost the ultimate act of faith, it seems.  It is to connect, to let the weight of your own sin and the brokenness of the world crush you. To place yourself willingly under that unbearable burden and let it be your end. By this you become more than you are or ever could be without it. It is the choice to surrender and transcend your individuality, to submit to and become part of something greater, and let it consume all that you were. Yet, in that very same moment, and in that very same place, outside of what is known; the gift, truth, and conviction, of identity founded in purpose and perfect relationship is returned, refined, complete, renewed, re-created.              Born again.

Prayer is... an adventure. It is to step from the controllable, the known, the safe, predictable, responsible, familiar, and comfortable, the tangible, measurable, relatable, understandable - into everything that is beyond. Into the Kingdom of God. Immeasurable, unreasonable, irresponsible, chaotic, beautiful, awesome, unpredictable, uncontrollable, wild, untamed, terrifying, and dangerous.

Prayer is to stand on the precipice between heaven and hell, and wait. To listen to the cries of pain and the songs of healing, the silence of depression and the whispers of hope, the anger of grievances and the gentleness of peace, the sighs of exhaustion and the breath of life, the hopelessness of anarchy and the freedom of obedience. To feel the cold lifeless structure and edifice of routine and the harmonious underlying rhythms of grace;

Prayer is asking God to dance.

Better is One Day

Welcome!

So this is a blog? I guess? It’s my first time, so if you’re reading this, you’re probably a close friend or family member whom I’ve begged, pleaded, or bribed to click on my website. If not, then this has officially surpassed my expectations for reaching people and so, that’s exciting. I will now shut down the site and move on with my life.

…

Here’s the idea: I’ve accumulated a few poems by now, and I’d like to share them. My plan is to post one every month or so, so that there is some level of returning interest. I don’t want to ‘flood my market’ (lol) and cheapen what has become so meaningful to me and hopefully for you as well.

So the obvious, and most pertinent question that needs to be answered, then, is Why? Why do I write? And even more – Why do I want to share what I’ve written?

why

I write because I am inspired. I have been inspired.  I do not mean this as a lofty claim or a self-aggrandizing proclamation, rather as a contented statement of reality.  Over the course of my life (grand total of 31 years) I have been blessed by and suffered through, a variety of experiences and circumstances that have shaped who I am.  I have been challenged, broken, fed and motivated by these experiences.  By them and from them I have found Hope, Life and Purpose.  I am grateful for this reality and the inspiration that has been borne as its fruit.  Writing and journaling allows me to concretize those experiences. Choosing to make the words rhyme and flow, adds weight, perspective and poignance. It is no longer simply a record of information but an inspired piece of art; an act of worship, an expression of gratitude. Poetry is my way of fostering, tending or stewarding what I have been given. Making it dance, making it sing, making it memorable – making it Beautiful.

I choose to share because - I think I should. If something is Beautiful, then I believe it should be displayed, proclaimed, broadcasted. I believe what I’ve written is Beautiful and Good (beneficial, helpful, has value).  I want to share what is Good.  I want whatever Goodness or Beauty is contained in my writings to be perpetuated. I would say that sharing my work is, at the very least, a moral obligation, and at the highest: a divine calling (I would argue that the two are one and the same).

To speak hypothetically: If what I have written is in fact Good or Beautiful, then by sharing it, more Goodness/Beauty will inevitably be produced.

inspiration

In my own adventures I have found that ‘mountain-top’ moments are not re-creatable. Each adventure carries its own mix of experiences: Beauty, struggle, pain, confusion, excitement, fulfillment, disappointment, success, failure, victory and defeat, all in varying degrees and forms. As these dance, wrestle and speak with one another along the trail they inevitably culminate and resonate in a single, climactic moment at the summit. I encounter Heaven.  Or pick another word for it; the other side, something transcendent, supernatural, inexplicable, divine and mysterious. The Kingdom of God. I cannot control, conjure or create this thing, I encounter it as it presents itself, I can only pursue it. I find it when I truly seek it. In these moments I am consistently afraid, inspired, uncertain, awestruck and Broken. Fully Alive. Where God and I occupy the same space and time for a moment and an eternity. This is where the lines are blurred. Where the sacred and ordinary are no longer distinct from one another. Where what is holy and what is earthly are one and the same. Where the Word is made flesh, where the bush burns but is not consumed, where I have to remove my sandals, listen, be still, and in awe.

your turn

If you’ve read this far you might as well finish because this part’s for you:

My aim is to facilitate hope and inspiration, as I have so received it. My hope is that, as you read these words, that you choose to take them in. The words and all that they carry with them.  This isn’t to say that anything I’ve said or written is overly profound, new or insightful, but to challenge you to ‘go there’. I hope that you choose to wrestle with the thoughts, feelings, memories, dreams and aspirations that are brought to light.                         Let it in.

No one knows you’re reading my poems. No one knows what’s going on inside, so why not venture into that space? Why not dare to encounter that beautiful, painful, confusing, exciting, terrifying, life-giving space. The space where you can begin to see the contrast between who you are and who you are meant be. At least for a moment.                      Dance with it.

I want you to step out of your comfort zone. I want you to let yourself be; afraid, uncertain, offended – Broken. And to reflect on that. I want to create space for those tears and anger to manifest. Where the meaningless self-loathing and apathy distill into fervor and conviction towards change.

I want you to step out of your comfort zone. I want you to let yourself be; encouraged, inspired, awestruck, – Broken. And to reflect on that. I want to create space for those dreams and visions to be realized and pursued.  Where the unending pining and fantasizing collide with discipline and purpose towards Life.

Every valley has a lowest point where moving from it in any direction, means beginning an uphill climb. Every summit has a peak where from it, every direction is down. Do not neglect your brokenness, do not deny your divinity.

I hope that by reading these words that you willingly cross that threshold from comfort and familiarity. That you choose to venture into the internal unknown. That you find where you end, and God begins. Where earth stretches skyward and heaven rains down. Where the now and the not-yet are beautifully juxtaposed in a single moment.

I hope that you discover Holy Ground.